oh, you're very sweet

i guess a pretty consistent theme in aiesec for FOREVER has been respecting tradition versus promoting progress. not even "versus", just creating a comfortable and beneficial balance between the two. i did not understand this before, because i had no perspective on "tradition". now that i kind of see that side of it, i understand how hard these changes are for people and why these conferences are SO emotionally charged-- because people have put years into this organization and feel that it is being up-ended without their consultation. which is scary, and requires a degree of trust to accept. a new perspective. again. will change everything.

on a personal note, i am now involved in a young-adult-novel-worthy situation which makes me GRIMACE (literally!) every time i think of it. direct result of my desire for more weighty goodbyes. but more genuine than that as well, i'd hope. because otherwise, would it really even matter? cryptic!

I DID IT, so get off my case!

after years of talking about it, and no one i know doing it, last night i slept in the AIESEC office (in lieu of my own bed which was like 10 minutes away).
this afternoon, as part of our transitioning regimen, sean did the same.

boyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

oh, and for posterity:

george: your hair is strong like a rope
yanjing: it's stronger than my heart

you have to understand how small, abrupt, and chinese yanjing is to laugh at this. cause it's like a POEM!

TIMING.

this budget is a moral document

so get ready for a really good analogy....

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this weekend was reminiscent of the mystery novels i used to read as a child-- you get to the end, prepared to be shocked, are sort of shocked but not really when you go back and realize that everything leading up to it was so obvious, you really should have seen it all along. i'm submitting THAT to the honors journal.

misery and glee!

hours and hours of telephone time yesterday. "i DEMAND satisfaction!"
next semester? what next semester?
there's a level at which i enjoy being brainy and talking "issues" and reading books and smoking clove cigarettes and drinking coffee. there's another, equally important, level at which i can barely form complete sentences and just want to watch all the Land Before Time movies in a row. the balance is impossible.
stick it to the man!, new york city, please, thanks
halloween is fake blood and glowsticks. that's a metaphor which i will duly submit to the honors journal.

i cut korean locks.

lately the universe has been reading my mind. i've been having weird dreams, and the celebrities of these have been telephoning me the next day. we're all still real. real AWESOME.

hey, current events.

and measures are what i'm so afraid to take

and i'd like to think we're better off for it

Libraries!
Chapped lips!
Bike crashes!

Water fountains!
Phone calls!
Electric blankets!

Forks and knives!
Noogies!
Valedictorians!

halloween does get better as you get older.
i'm currently wearing the texas wushu tshirt (thanks jeffbrain).
perspective... bring it on !
i would like to sit and stare, thanks.

"once upon a memory.... i had a dream within a dream"

i wrote a sentence that was true, then deleted every other word. then it was a lie. so i deleted the whole thing.

luckily, today alexei and i left our legacy in the backyard of horizons. two shovels, barefeet, one hole, and an apple core. followed, of course, by a blood oath to return in 30 years time. let biology do its work, and hope for no mass devastation between now and then.
in terms of mass devastation, reading science fiction reminds me of that possibility.

i think i said all that needed to be said.
thanksgiving will be a bummer in boulder! the exclamation points' purpose is to underline the massive joy alliteration can bring even in dire circumstances, such as the anticipation of spending a national holiday/school break doing homework.

the world told me everything, and i told them it was all symbolism.

my eyes won't open all the way,
lauren